Tuesday, October 06, 2015

[BH3] Boulder Hash #751 - Fart Collins Invasion Pre-Lube

Greetings intrepid wankers! This Saturday some half-mind promised our sexy neighbors to the north that the Boulder Kennel would stage an invasion of their Alice in Wonderland Hash!

But wait! The Hash gods have smiled upon us and that's not until 5:00. Which leaves plenty of time for a Pre-Lube trail of our own here in the People's Republic!! You don't even have to be going to Fart Collins to join us (but you will miss out on half-nekkid Caterpillars and March Hares)

What: A short Alice in Wonderland pre-lube hash

Where: Gregory Canyon Trail-cranium

When: Saturday 10/10 @ High Noon

Hare: Amber Alert

Hash Cash: $3 - Free for anyone taking Fort Collins DD duties!

Bring: A desire for something short and hard, virgins, conversation topics not about Beano's mom, lube to prepare us for the rabbit hole, virgins, hobos, missing Folsom bike lanes, and maybe a tween for Amber.

PARKING NOTE: Gregory canyon doesn't have a ton of parking, so it may be full. If so, turn around and park along the South side of Baseline where it becomes legal. Enjoy a short and furious (like sex with Lady Dayz) stroll to the trailhead.

-Amber Alert

Friday, October 02, 2015

[BH3] BH3 #750: Pickup Hash

What: It's been a while since we've had a Pickup Hash, so lets throw one in on an off week. Just Jon and Weird Ball will bring the flour and beer, and we'll all make trail up as we go along.

When: Sunday, October 4th, 4 pm.

Where: The office park at the east end of Walnut

Hares: All of us.

Bring: $5, willingness to hare for whole minutes at a time, ID for possible guerrilla brewery checks, a light if the end of trail is getting dark, virgins to confuse.

Trail: A–A

D'erections: Head east on Walnut St, go under Foothills Parkway, then go right when it dead-ends into parking lots.
Near 4750 Walnut St, Boulder, CO 80301

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

[BH3] another frikin hash #749

What: another frikin hash

you will have to drive to this hash so keep that in mind
you will lose reception just around the time you think you are lost so write this down
the start is here:
25 Switzerland Trail
Boulder, CO 80302
40°01'30.2"N 105°25'29.6"W

D’erections: head west up Boulder canyon which is Canyon Dr.
you will cum in a tunnel (note the milage)
One mile past the tunnel, turn right on Sugarloaf Road (note milage)
At 4.8 miles, turn right on Sugarloaf Mountain Road and follow it to its end at the trailhead.
The road is bumpy but not too bad
Assume 30min from Boulder

When: Sept 26th
Time: 1:69!!
It is getting dark sooner

Who: Mach 1.Whore

A to A’ bring a jacket for circle
You should wear orange, first because it is the best, also so you don’t get shot. There are ‘NO SHOOTING’ signs everywhere and if I know rednecks, that means there is lots of shooting.
Assume 6 miles of generally disliking this trail.
Dirt, woods, skree and general shiggy
There won’t be a turkey eagle split but something could easily be pieced together if necessary.
Bring waterbottle or camelback. I’ll drag a 30 rack to the middle of the woods but I ain’t bring you no water.

In order to minimize traffic and the number of people who need to be sober enough to drive down a mountain road there will be a prelube/carpool/caravan. Drivers don’t pay hash cash, their passengers will cover it.

Parking in the garage on 11th and Spruce

Beer and food at noonish at
Bohemian Biergarten
2017 13th St
Boulder, CO 80302

On After:
A few options
1. Never leave camp option: the hash is in National Forest so you can camp there
2. Convenient for Mach option: 28th St Tavern
3. Drink Brooke’s roommate’s friend’s cousin’s random keg of mysteries

Sunday, September 06, 2015

[BH3] G4 Memorial Hash - Friday!

BFHHH #359 (maybe?)

What: G4 Memorial Hash

Trail: A – A'

Hares: Chocolate Salty Balls & ProBoneMe (with much assistance from Yeast Infection, Pig Pimp, Pod, Muffet, the Green Pussy, and others)

When: Friday, September 11, 2015 at 6:30 pm

Pre-Lube: Odd 13 Brewing, 301 E. Simpson St, Lafayette

Where: Bob L. Burger Rec Center, 111 Baseline Rd, Lafayette

Hash Cash: $5

Theme: G4! Come in your favorite G4-related outfit, sci-fi costume, tutu, dress, or whatever. Or bring a bag of knitting. Or cover yourself in yarn like an over-caffeinated kitten. Or bring a Stanley thermos full of booze. Or drag along a shopping cart. Whatever makes you think of G4 is suitable.

Bring: Headlamps, drinking vessel, ID & money (just in case), anything that reminds you of G4, change of shoes & socks (just in case), a verse of MaƱana (Way Down in Barcelona…), your best singing voice, throat lozenges, and a donation for the Lafayette Humane Society, to be made in G4's honor. 

Dogs? No, at least not of the canine variety. 

Strollers? Yes, with or without child.

D'Erections: Consult the Google.

Lost or Lonely? Call ProBoneMe (303-885-9606), who might actually remember to turn the volume up on her phone.

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Thursday, August 27, 2015

BH3 # 748: The Golden Hash / Be Who You want To Be

What: 1/4 Cup of Cock's virgin lay (It's about time you lazy fuck!) The Golden Hash! Get your tukus in a car and drive down to Golden for something a little different. The theme is: Be Who You want To Be (AKA your best impression of 1/4 Cup of Cock). Not dog friendly or stroller friendly- leave them with grandma. Trail is A-A' This will surely be a complete shit show, not to be missed.

Who ('Da hares): 1/4 Cup of Cock featuring very special mystery guest hare (looking for volunteers)

When: 13:69 (Please note this hash is early for logistical purposes get there by 2 o'cock pm) Since it will likely be hot, please plan accordingly.

Where: 1253 Arapahoe St (a parking lot) https://goo.gl/maps/izN7S.

Hash Cash: Cinco Dolares ($5USD) more money for beer at on-after and on-more-after.

Bring: ID on trail (very important), sunblock, container to imbibe water, bikinis, change of shoes, personal flotation devices, spelunking torch, rubber cat suit, disdain for tourists, thirst for watching your girls in bikinis (Amber Alert), rattle snake anti-venom, dry sack for technology, geology hand lens, sex toys, Lithologic section of the Fox Hills Sandstone near Golden (http://pubs.usgs.gov/pp/0872/report.pdf), Beano's mom

On-After: We may have to be quick at the A' ending place but I figure there might be some opportunities to sample Golden's micro-brews.