Thursday, December 18, 2014

Naughty Holiday Celebration - Trail #721

Me Mee Meee!!!!!

Lacy things....the wife is missin'
Didn't ask.....her permission
I'm wearin' her clothes.
Her silk pantyhose.
Walkin' around in womens' underwear....

Get your hashmas songs in order for THE LAST BH3 trail of the year! Saturday's evening trail (on 12/20/14) will start at 5:00 pm at Settlers Park in Boulder, Colorado!!!!

Location:  West end of Pearl Street at its junction with Canyon Boulevard. (The parking lot is on your right as you leave Boulder heading to Nederland).

Hares:  Brrrrgggghhhh and Cockchester

Time:  5 o'clock pm

Cost: five dolla make ya holla

What to wear:  your sluttiest Santa, elf or reindeer outfit.  Simply....anything to rival the best nudey pics of Beano's mom.

Bring: Headlamp. Headlamp. Headlamp. A change of warm clothing.  And your singing voice!

Expect a relatively short trail.  "Relatively". Prob longer than 2 miles and less than 12 miles.
Expect a public appearance of your boobs, cocks and ass.   And expect a fun circle filled with holiday cheer!

But WAIT!!! There's MORE!!!!!

The On On On will be at the home of our lovely Cockchester, this year's Beer Mile winner, Amber Alert, and their fearless protector, Moe! Please bring alcohol for continued debauchery. And, a hash gift for a pleasant white elephant exchange.  Lady Days: your collection of Beano's mom pics are immediately disqualified.  No questions asked!

Also, if you're coming to the On On On, it would be wonderful if you could bring some food to share with the kennel! Thanks Wanks!

Thursday, December 04, 2014

[BH3] BH3 #720

Since All-American Cumstain only knows about Facebook, not anything so old fashioned as email or webpages, I'll forward this announcement:

====================

Who knew Hashers were bad at organizing shit? Well, come by for a pickup hash this Saturday at 1:69. For those of you who do not know what a pickup hash is, here are the spark notes: everyone hares, we get lost, we get drunk, we get more lost then we finish and drink more. For those of you who do not know what spark notes are: you are a nerd.

What to bring: no 5 dolla required for a hola this time. Bring either beer or an awesome snack, I will provide flour and a rack of the cheapest beer available at the emporium. Also bring: ID, change of shoes, favorite Hall and Oates album, your graphing calculator, more beer, wine and cheese, a good attitude.

What not to bring: underwear, a can't do attitude, blackface, weapons, the Nixon Tapes.

Where: South Boulder Campus (xc course).

Time: 1:69 Mounting Time

D'erections: Ha, you thought I would Google it for you.

Dog/Strollers: who knows! it is a pickup hash. Dogs in strollers will be fine.

--
Boulder H3 Info:
BoulderH3.org
@BoulderH3

Colorado Info:
Harrier.net
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Monday, November 24, 2014

[BH3] BH3 #719 - 11/28 - Black Friday Hangover Hash

What: I know most of you will still be in a haze of tryptophan and family overdose, so the hares will take it real easy on you. There is no theme. There are no water crossings, no snow or ice, and best of all no beer. Wait!? What?! Just kidding. There will be all the booze!

When: Friday, November 28th at 12:15pm


Hares: Just Jon's virgin lay! and Pippi

Hash Cash: Five Bucks

Bring: Change of shoes, warm things, thermoses filled with hot boozy bevies, black hooded sweatshirts, your new Best Buy credit card debt, leftover turkey, your grandma, Beano's mom, and all the leftover cranberry sauce that you can juggle. 

Trail: A to Aish, circle will be inside if our tits can hang with the cold. 

Dogs/Babies: Dogs will absolutely love this trail. We scouted with a stroller and made the children walk. It is baby bjorn friendly, but not stroller. 

D'erections: The link to the damn place is in this post. Buses and carpooling is strongly encouraged. 

--
Boulder H3 Info:
BoulderH3.org
@BoulderH3
 
Colorado Info:
Harrier.net
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Wednesday, November 19, 2014

BH3 #718 - 11/22 - The You Can’t Have Any Pudding Until You Beat Your Meat Hash

What:  The You Can’t Have Any Pudding Until You Beat Your Meat Hash - I’ve been living in Boulder for the past 12 weeks now and I’ve met many a homeless person with an iPad, seen a lot of pretty nature and sh*t, and had my fair share of organic free-range placenta burgers (it really saddens me to see those little guys caged up). I’d like to explore a bit of the area that isn’t so idyllic. So, in honor of the almost 30 something-th anniversary of the release of Pink Floyd’s semen(al) album “The Wall”, let’s check out a bit of this place that lets us know we’re just part of the machine, maaaan. So dress up in the way that you interpreted the movie, sober or not.
When:   11/22 @ 1:69
Where:  Upslope Brewing
      1898 S Flatiron Ct
      Boulder, CO 80301, NOT THE NORTH BOULDER LOCATION!
Hares:  All American Cumstain and Just Sarkis
Hash Cash:  How much mescaline can you get with $5?
Bring:  A light brite, warm clothes, snow pants or no pants, scopolamine, moon-walking-out-of-a-potentially-bad-situation, pudding with proof in it (preferably higher than 100), edjukashun, teachers not leaving kids alone (ask Amber for tips), Beano’s Mom’s Mom, triangular prisms
Trail:  A(animals)–A’(tom Heart Mother)
Dog/Stroller Amigoly:  Pups will have a blast
D'Erections:  Just ask Alice

Wednesday, November 05, 2014

BH3 #717 - 11/8 - The No F*cking Theme Hash

What:  The No Fucking Theme Hash - Let's stop pretending we're Weird-Ball going through his mom's closet and just dress like a bunch of half-mind hashers.
When:   11/8 @ 1:69 HST (that's an hour earlier than recent hashes because boobs and balls look best with a little daylight)
Where:  Gravity Brewing -1150 Pine St, Louisville
Hares:  Cockchester and Amber Alert
Hash Cash:  .0146 Bitcoin  ($5)
Bring:  Cranium lamps or fleshlights, dry clothes (it's a Cockchester trail), virgins, weed candy, the award, pube trimmers (we'll hold Pod down), the grainy Lady Dayz and Beano's mom sex tape, new shoes, and pumpkin spice lube.
Trail:  A-A'
Dog/Stroller Friendly:  The doge should be fine.
D'Erections:  AltaVista that shit!

OnOn!
Amber Alert and Cockchester