Thursday, August 27, 2015

BH3 # 748: The Golden Hash / Be Who You want To Be

What: 1/4 Cup of Cock's virgin lay (It's about time you lazy fuck!) The Golden Hash! Get your tukus in a car and drive down to Golden for something a little different. The theme is: Be Who You want To Be (AKA your best impression of 1/4 Cup of Cock). Not dog friendly or stroller friendly- leave them with grandma. Trail is A-A' This will surely be a complete shit show, not to be missed.

Who ('Da hares): 1/4 Cup of Cock featuring very special mystery guest hare (looking for volunteers) 

When: 13:69 (Please note this hash is early for logistical purposes get there by 2 o'cock pm) Since it will likely be hot, please plan accordingly.

Where: 1253 Arapahoe St (a parking lot) https://goo.gl/maps/izN7S 

Hash Cash: Cinco Dolares ($5USD) more money for beer at on-after and on-more-after

Bring: ID on trail (very important), sunblock, container to imbibe water, bikinis, change of shoes, personal flotation devices, spelunking torch, rubber cat suit, disdain for tourists, thirst for watching your girls in bikinis (Amber Alert), rattle snake anti-venom, dry sack for technology, geology hand lens, sex toys, Lithologic section of the Fox Hills Sandstone near Golden (
http://pubs.usgs.gov/pp/0872/report.pdf), Beano's mom

On-After: We may have to be quick at the A' ending place but I figure there might be some opportunities to sample Golden's micro-brews.

Friday, August 21, 2015

Boulder BASH #2

What:  BASH #2   Boulder Hash #747
When:  Saturday 8/22 @ 5:69
Where:  World Famous Dark Horse Saloon
Hares:  Just Ben and HomoWrecker
Hash Cash:  $0 - Bring $ for trail


Trail: I don't know if this is hash #747 or 746.5 because we're doing it on an off-week, but join Just Ben and HomoWrecker for our second BASH. And since you were dumb enough to let me plan the route, I can guarantee the shittiest of trails will be laid. So cum one, cum all, cum all over Beano's mom. We'll be hitting a few disreputable locations along the way so keep that hash cash to yourself. More unnecessary details to follow. BRING: Virgins, bikes, virgin bikes, bike lights, virgin bike lights, Spandex, helmets and jimmy hats.


-Just Ben

Friday, August 14, 2015

BH3 #746 - Wizards of Woodstock Hash!

There will be a hash to commemorate two of the funkiest things that have ever happened on this Earth: Woodstock (8/15/1969) and the Wizard of Oz (8/15/1939). Wizards and hippies will unite for the first time in many years to run in a loop like idiots!

When: Saturday 8/15 @ 4:69 HST (5:09 pm)

Where: In front of SCARPA at Pearl Pkwy and Frontier Ave (opposite side of same building as Sanitas Brewery, near the train tracks) (https://www.google.com/maps/dir//40.0227288,-105.249016/@40.0226282,-105.2496275,18z) 

Pre-lube: Sanitas Brewing at 4ish

Hares: Two newbs: Just Jon and Just Savannah

Hash Cash: $5 or an equivalent in Judy Garland's personal poppy supply.

Bring: Wizards, hash, scare crows, tie-dye t-shirts, cowardly lions, boobs, free love, ruby slippers, poppy for days, shiggy socks, and a mellow attitude. (And costumes you wankers!)

Don't Bring: That Harry Potter costume. This isn't 2007.

Disclaimer: If anything goes wrong, blame the mis-management that concocted the idea to have two Just's hare their first trails together.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

[BH3] BH3 #745 - Yuppie Hash - Saturday 8/1 @ 5:15

Mark Twain once commented:
"Suppose you were shit, then suppose you were a yuppie. But I repeat myself."

There will also be a beer mile before this trail! So show up to laugh at all the racists. Or participate in one lap and then spew your brew all over them.Beer mile will feature ONLY the standard beverage of choice for such an event: BUDWEISER. Not bud light, not PBR, not Gennneeesssee, but BUD HEAVY.

What: Boulder Yuppie Ass Hash! (preceded by a beer mile!)
When: Saturday, August 1. 16:69
Where: Centennial Middle Skool
Hares: Poopsie Daisy (virgin lay!) and Self Service Truck Stop
Hash Cash: 5000 chedda
D' Erections: https://www.google.com/maps/place/Centennial+Middle+School/@40.0449855,-105.2680454,17z/data=!4m7!1m4!3m3!1s0x876beef51aab4c4b:0xae801c871cd7cfca!2sCentennial+Middle+School!3b1!3m1!1s0x876beef51aab4c4b:0xae801c871cd7cfca
Bring: Stuff.

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Boulder H3 Info:
BoulderH3.org
@BoulderH3
 
Colorado Info:
Harrier.net
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Tuesday, July 14, 2015

[BH3] BH3 #744 - It's a BASH!

What:  This Saturday's trail with be a Bash (aka Bike Hash, aka Boozy Boulder Bike Brewery and Bar Bacchanalia).  
When:  Saturday 7/18 @ 5:69 HST (6:09 pm)
Where:  Sanitas Brewery
Hares:  Amber Alert and Friends
Hash Cash:  $0
Bring:  A Bike!  Money and ID (since all the BN's will be breweries, distilleries, bars, or houses of ill-repute), shaved legs, other shaved body parts, hipster bike gear, cranium protectors and/or knee pads, and a blow-up sex doll so Brrrggghh can tell that New Orleans story for the 50th time.

OnOn!
-Amber Alert

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Boulder H3 Info:
BoulderH3.org
@BoulderH3
 
Colorado Info:
Harrier.net
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